we see it all the time.
you get off a great intro call – the buyer’s nodding, they’re excited, it feels like a yes is coming.
then the proposal goes out… and the momentum dies.
most service proposals read like a menu:
here’s what we do. here’s how much it costs. let us know.
but your buyer isn’t ordering takeout.
they’re looking for someone who gets it. someone who listened. someone who can actually help.
and too many proposals skip that part.
here’s what to fix:
1. start with what you heard
lead with a short section called “what we heard”
- repeat back their words
- name the pain points
- show them you were listening
this instantly builds trust and makes the buyer feel seen.
2. don’t just list the work, show the why
instead of jumping to deliverables, connect them to the outcome:
- why this approach?
- how will it solve their problem?
- what happens if they don’t do anything?
if they can’t see the result, they won’t buy the service.
3. anchor your value
pricing feels expensive when there’s no comparison.
if your work helps someone make $100K or avoid a $50K mistake, say that. if by hiring you, the prospect is saving money or overhead by hiring someone else internally … say that too.
they don’t need a discount, they need a reason. to get their team on board (and likely the CFO).
4. use normal human words
stop saying things like “robust, end-to-end, fully integrated solutions.” your buyer isn’t impressed. they’re confused.
instead:
- write like you talk – clearly, confidently, professionally. that will help yours stand out from every single other one in the pile
- use real words people actually say in meetings
- let the personality of your brand show through (without losing the polish)
if someone needs to re-read a sentence three times, they won’t. they’ll stop reading altogether.
5. make the next step easy
you’d be shocked how many proposals end without saying what happens next.
include:
- how long the proposal is valid
- what to do if they want to move forward
- what the kickoff process looks like
buying should feel easy, not confusing.
the bottom line:
proposals aren’t just for outlining services.
they’re for building trust, showing value, and keeping the momentum alive.
great proposals say:
we listened.
we understand.
we’ve got you.
don’t write another one that doesn’t.
