I recently saw an Instagram reel where the girl was explaining her journey to become a more poised speaker. basically saying, if you want to get better at speaking, practice talking for one minute straight. no filler words. no “likes.” no “ums.” just talk.

so I tried it.

and it’s harder than it sounds. but this exercise got me thinking beyond the video and the act of talking about something random for one minute.

poise isn’t just about speaking clearly. it’s about being comfortable when things aren’t comfortable. when the words don’t land. when the silence stretches. when the tension hits. as an accounts person, these scenarios are something I work through weekly.

silence isn’t empty, it’s information 🧠

silence still makes me uncomfortable. my instinct is always to fill the space. to ease the tension. to move things along.

but the more i lead, the more i’ve learned that silence can do the heavy lifting for you.

it lets people process. it creates space for honesty, or for someone to add to the conversation.

and it signals confidence, even when you’re still finding your footing.

why silence & poise matter in leadership ✏️

1. silence is a leadership tool. in high-pressure conversations (client negotiations, introductions, delivery of the not so great news) silence reads as confidence. the calmest voice in the room sets the pace for everyone else.
2. control the pace, control the room. a pause can be more powerful than a paragraph. when you slow down, people lean in. silence gives your words weight.
3. poise creates psychological safety. how you handle tension tells people whether it’s safe to be honest with you. staying calm doesn’t just de-escalate, but it might even open the door for better conversations.

in practice 🏃‍♀️

these are the things I’m learning and actively working at. anything else I can add to this list? let me know.

1. the one-minute rule. talk for one minute straight, like the video said. there I go using “like” but actually, talk for one whole minute no fillers.
2. pause with purpose. before you rush to respond, take a beat. reminding myself that stillness isn’t weakness; it’s presence.
3. let tension work for you. don’t rescue every awkward moment (no matter how difficult this is). sometimes discomfort is where clarity and truth start.

🏎️ we live in a world that rewards speed: instant replies, instant results, instant answers at our fingertips. but poise and silence don’t live in that world. they take practice. they ask you to slow down when everything around you says go faster.

🥡 the takeaway: sometimes the smartest thing you can do is take a breath, use your brain, and sit in the stillness.

because in a culture that values quick satisfaction… the ability to stay calm, thoughtful, and quiet might just be your biggest advantage.